Turn down…

I am sorry to report that I cannot accept the offer from XXXX.  I would like to thank you for your time and effort in interviewing me.  The reality is, your offer is characteristically (of you) insulting to my efforts, particularly as it displays a crass indifference to market realities.  These same market realities, ones of which any good economist should be aware, compel me, and apparently most people in your organization, to seek alternative employment opportunities.

Do not hesitate to contact me again with a 50 percent increase in the offer, and I may be willing to sacrifice my time to your studied superciliousness in order to fall into desperate bitterness.  One would think a “Harvard” man would be more in touch with reality, but being as rude as you are takes practice and a careful detachment from the known forces of the talent market.  After meeting you, it was evident that those who remain in your employ for longer than 12 months are low-second-tier talent (with strange online degrees), either too lazy or too incompetent to find alternative employment.

I certainly believe you “get what you pay for,” and I hope you find some other sod-crap piece of flotsam to put up with you.